Well I like this, a lot.
You've got beautiful details, and though it is slightly hazy, I can understand what's going on. :]
I love the pattern you've set up too, brilliant.
Well done my dear!

I need more of your poetry. -begs-...

All right! Nice going, Caroline!

Now that I'm getting to read and study it, I think I like it even better. A definite .

A few things that seem especially strong to me are the way you've played with the sounds in the first few lines, especially: That stands above the haze on days like these. Seriously, that's effin awesome. Also the general rhythm and flow of the verse, like here:
And somewhere in the background, the cries can be heard
Of lives washed away and thought of in some other time
And the pride worn proudly on our sleeves has somehow faded all away…
It’s all been thrown away.
And the ones that they relied on now can’t face tomorrow’s dawning.

I was confused by "awaiting more hindrance." Are you saying they are waiting for things to get worse, or did you intend a different word?

The whole thing seems to refer to the midwestern floods and the TV images of towns now visible only as rooftops above the water. It reminds me so much of New Orleans after Katrina, which also was less a natural disaster than a failure of planning and preparation. You also seem to have picked up on the irony of people waiting for terrorism based on the latest orange alert, only to be wiped out instead by inadequate infrastructure.

I would suggest putting a bit more work in on this one, specifically on the last part, beginning at "The time goes by." You're trying to say something strong there, but you seem nervous about laying it right out, and the rhythm starts to falter. Stay with it. Keep massaging the lines until they say what you're trying to put across. You can do it, because you've been doing it, so just keep at it. This poem is definitely worth it.

And yes, poetry can and frequently does make sense. You nailed that point in your other poem the other night--the one you (ahem!) STILL haven't posted--when you said if you make it completely incomprehensible, some people will call it genius. But the rest of us will yawn.

--
Ed
"If you're not confused, you're misinformed." - Tom Clancy
The Trouble with a Love Poem

Okay...let's see. Reading through this comment at 1:30 in the morning...not my best idea. xD
And responding with a novel? Not the greatest idea either. Haha, anyway...

First off, THANK YOU for the critique. I desperately needed someone to pull me back down to earth. [No sarcasm intended.] And also, thanks for thinking it's effin awesome. I appreciate it.

Next;
Okay...so a little backstory on this poem, the original line was "awaiting more delays", but at the time I was writing it, my neighbor was over and said that he didn't think it went well with the whole "I'm not trying to rhyme so don't get that idea" thing I was trying to do...[And yeah, that was a direct quote. Baha.]

So I replaced delays with hindrance. Interpret as you wish, that's what I was originally thinking..
But kudos to you! You got the real-world reference in there. I've been thinking about it a lot recently. [Thank you, World History class and Discovery Channel re-runs.]

But anyway, in the light of what you said, I have been looking at this one differently lately and I'm going to try and make it even better by the next reading. Maybe I'll read the edited version, I'm not totally sure yet.
I'm not totally sure it's going to be completely the same, though, since the psyche I had when writing isn't going to be the same.
Yet what you said here has SERIOUSLY helped me out from where I was. [:

SO! On to the last part of your comment.
...
I'm worried about that one, Ed! xD
It's just...well, to put it blatantly, it needs a great deal of work. Heck, I cut out part of it at the READING. I'm making an attempt to re-write the parts I skipped, but it's taking longer than I hoped. /:
But I'll let you know.

So anyway, hope I didn't bore you to death. This is the end, no worries. And thanks again. [:

--
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.

One approach to rewriting I often recommend is simply that. Put aside the way you wrote it before, and work out in your mind exactly what you were trying to say. Say it in the least poetic and most straightforward manner you can. Then look for what you could do to make those very prosaic words into lines that would go with the rest of your poem. You may find yourself using some of the lines and phrases you used before, but that's okay. And it's easier than trying to adjust the previous effort, one word at a time.

But I don't agree that it needs such a god-awful amount of work. What you've got now honestly isn't bad. I got the message. There are just a few ambiguous phrases or sentences. And again, what you've got already is so strong; it's definitely worth the effort and time it will take to edit.

--
Ed
"If you're not confused, you're misinformed." - Tom Clancy
The Trouble with a Love Poem

Wow! I love it. A lot. What more is there to say?
Well, okay, a lot more. But I'll leave that to someone else.

--
~ZaraLucifer~

"But why would I WANT a life?"

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
It was really my first shot at poetry like this, so it really does make an impact what the reception is.
And positive feedback is my fuelll! [:

--
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.